Satirical illustration — not a documentary photograph. Science & Technology Fusion AI Spinout Builds Machine That Remembers Who Broke the Spreadsheet UKAEA has spun out an engineering AI company, giving Britain a machine that can… Biff Tankerton17/08/2026
UK Politics & Public Life Britain’s Housing Crisis Told to Wait Beside a Well-Connected Station Britain’s new default yes for homes near stations moves the housing crisis close enough… Hedgewick Thistleton17/08/2026
Politics UK Politics & Public Life EU Decides Peace Symbol Probably Had It Coming Bureaucrats conclude iconic bird guilty of ‘unauthorised tranquillity’ and… Biff Tankerton05/04/2025
Civil Servants Spend Weeks Deciding if Retaliatory Tariff Should Apply to Peanut Butter Cups Emergency Subcommittee Formed to Analyse Chocolate-to-Peanut Butter Ratio Impact on… Biff Tankerton04/04/2025
Stabbing Statistics Confirm School Still Excellent Preparation For Modern Britain Ministry lauds accidental curriculum for fostering ‘essential street-level… Biff Tankerton03/04/2025
Business & Economy Economy Easter Bunny Blamed for ‘Egg-Sistential’ Shrinkflation Crisis Bunny’s ‘Egg-xit’ Strategy Leaves Nation Shell-Shocked. The United… Biff Tankerton27/03/2025
Pothole Naming Rights: Petition for “Markle Mystery Hole” Gaining Traction Locals demand personal touch for every pit of despair. Piddlington-on-Sea’s… Biff Tankerton26/03/2025
Government Blows £9bn on Tunnel Linking Two Places Nobody Wants to Visit The Great British Money Pit Rolls On In a dazzling display of… Hedgewick Thistleton25/03/2025
Media Good News Website Launch; Brits Struggle to Comprehend Concept of ‘Good News’ Confused citizens suspect new site is government propaganda or Banksy art installation.… Biff Tankerton23/03/2025
Military War World Europe deploys elite battalion of calligraphers armed with fountain pens to deter aggressors with impeccable penmanship. Continent Torn Between Deploying Actual Troops or Just Hopes and Prayers. BRUSSELS,… Hedgewick Thistleton21/03/2025
War PM Unveils New Submarine, Assures Nation It ‘Probably Won’t Sink Like the Last One’ New submarine is equipped with ‘state-of-the-art floatiness.’ BARROW-IN-FURNESS, UK — In a… Biff Tankerton20/03/2025
Business Business & Economy Finance FTSE 100 Dips; Nation Pretends to Understand What That Means Compass Group Loses Its Way; Public Unaware It Existed The FTSE 100… Biff Tankerton19/03/2025
Weather Britons Brace for Whiplash as Temperatures Swing from Arctic to Tropical in 24 Hours Experts Recommend Layering Parkas Over Hawaiian Shirts Brace yourselves, Britain: the weather… Biff Tankerton19/03/2025
Politics UK Politics & Public Life Government Solves Budget Crisis by Suggesting Poor People Try Being Less Poor In a bold move, the UK government has proposed a ground breaking… Hedgewick Thistleton18/03/2025
Transport Travel Travel & Transport Nation’s Drivers Thrilled by Prospect of Months-Long Scenic Detours Due to Motorway Closure Britain’s transport system finally achieves its goal of total standstill. Transport authorities… Biff Tankerton17/03/2025
Business & Economy Economy Politics UK Politics & Public Life Chancellor’s Spring Statement to Include Bold Plans for ‘Economic Magic Beans’ Chancellor Bets the Farm on Economic Recovery—Literally. In a daring bid to… Biff Tankerton17/03/2025
Sport Scientists Baffled as Newcastle Victory Disrupts Space-Time Continuum Experts Baffled as Newcastle Wins Trophy, Universe Demands Explanation In a plot… Biff Tankerton16/03/2025
Culture & Entertainment Entertainment Psychic’s Prediction Comes True; World Shocked That Guessing Vaguely Can Sometimes Be Right Clairvoyant’s Success Rate Now Rivals That of a Broken Clock In a… Hedgewick Thistleton16/03/2025
