Politics
Government promises brighter future once you have paid extra for this one
Lawnland asks taxpayers to fund a brighter future while keeping every current failure exactly where it is.
Biff Tankerton
Self appointed General once reported that a minor breeze in Lawnland was “a full-scale invasion by air-based insurgents.” Demands Lawnland form a navy, despite the nation having no body of water. Claims to have “seen combat” but later admitted it was just a particularly aggressive game of Monopoly.
UK Politics & Public Life
Government cuts immigration by putting off the people it wanted
Ministers celebrate lower immigration while employers ask where their recruits went. A new leaflet offers the government something much easier to count.
UK Politics & Public Life
NATO Science Campus Meeting Gives Paperwork A Promotion
At Harwell, a NATO science campus meeting covers defence technology, space and global security before paperwork receives strategic status.
Business & Economy
UK Inflation Gives Petrol A Speaking Part
UK consumer price inflation rose in August, with petrol and diesel providing the most expensive contribution to the official figures.
UK Politics & Public Life
Politician admits he is lying but asks to finish
A politician admits he is lying, asks to finish and earns praise for his honesty. The actual truth remains a separate commitment.
UK Politics & Public Life
Border System Finds Benefits, Misplaces the Clipboard
The Future Borders and Immigration System has delivered eVisas and travel authorisations, but an inspection says someone still needs to keep the benefits moving.
UK Politics & Public Life
University launches gaslighting degree with practical training from student finance
A university trains aspiring politicians to explain why owing more after ten years of repayments is a problem with the borrower’s attitude.
Science & Technology
Fusion Supercomputers Link Up, Then Meet the Biscuit Tin
UK and US fusion laboratories plan to explore linking AI supercomputers, prompting satire about digital twins, shared data and office biscuits.
Business & Economy
Government promises return to steady decline once slump is over
Lawnland ministers promise to restore the manageable decline people once complained about, with emergency tax rises to stop anyone enjoying the recovery.
Travel & Transport
Rail Freight Growth Target Gives Containers Career Plans
The rail freight growth target promises more goods by train, more targets on paper and one increasingly ambitious container.