Business & Economy
ONS Finds Britain’s Economy Doing Something
The ONS has released real time economic indicators tracking Britain through experimental data, rapid surveys and a dashboard that wants a verb.
The Lawn, in retrospect
Earlier articles
The dates are real. The news is satire.
August 2025
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World
UK Japan Defence Partnership Takes Networking To Sea
The UK Japan defence partnership has taken an aircraft carrier to Tokyo because a normal networking venue lacked sufficient presence.
UK Politics & Public Life
Basingstoke Bishop Appointment Gets Betteridge Upgrade
The Basingstoke bishop appointment has gone to Kelly Anne Betteridge, giving nominative optimism a mitre and the diocese an accidental upgrade.
Travel & Transport
Electric Car Grant Classifies Six Cars For Britain
The Electric Car Grant now covers 28 models, inviting Britain to classify six new electric cars before accepting their discount.
Sport
UAE Squad Adds Four Players And Several Calendar Alerts
The UAE cricket squad makes four changes before a packed tri series and Asia Cup leave the calendar demanding its own rotation policy.
Science & Technology
Plant Productivity Gets An Extremely Remote Manager
NASA’s PACE satellite is helping researchers map plant productivity from orbit, giving every crop an extremely remote performance review.
Health & Lifestyle
Wastewater Monitoring Promotes Sewage To Health Desk
Wastewater monitoring will test whether Britain’s sewage can provide earlier warnings of dangerous pathogens, turning drains into public health correspondents.
Culture & Entertainment
Naked Gun Reboot Solves Crime By Removing Evidence Of Dignity
The Naked Gun reboot gives Liam Neeson a badge, removes his gravitas and sends Hollywood comedy into an 85 minute witness protection programme.
Business & Economy
Boeing Acquisition Clears CMA’s Serious Ghost Check
The CMA cleared Boeing’s acquisition of Spirit AeroSystems at phase one, confirming that the aerospace deal involved competition law rather than corporate possession.
World
G20 Development Meeting Feeds The Aid Language Machine
A G20 development meeting promotes investment and less reliance on aid, while its conference language achieves total financial independence.