Health & Lifestyle
Measles Books Summer Holiday, Skips Vaccination Check
Measles outbreaks could grow with summer travel, because infectious disease has again refused to respect the family's shared calendar.
Felicity Bunce
Felicity has been in a six-year dispute with a supermarket loyalty scheme over seven missing points. She owns a filing cabinet containing every receipt issued to her since 1993 and has successfully returned a toaster on the grounds that “the toast had become complacent.” Retailers generally know her simply as Mrs Bunce Again.
Travel & Transport
Midland Main Line Closures Give Buses Their Moment
Weekend closures delivered maintenance at 120 Midland Main Line locations and gave replacement buses another chance to see the region.
Business & Economy
NatWest Exit Ends Government’s Seventeen Year Joint Account
The NatWest exit closes a seventeen-year public shareholding after the financial crisis produced Britain's least romantic joint account.
Science & Technology
Alien Life Search Gets 60 Forms, Aliens Remain Silent
The alien life search has reached its most advanced phase yet: asking the research community to comment on 60 documents before the deadline.
UK Politics & Public Life
Cabinet Office Board Hires Man To Check Homework
The Cabinet Office Board has appointed a lead non-executive member to provide challenge, oversight and an unfamiliar chair without a minister.
Culture & Entertainment
Sentimental Value Dad Replaces Apology With Feature Film
Sentimental Value follows an absent director who offers his daughter a leading role, because saying sorry apparently lacked sufficient financing.
Sport
Spurs Trophy Ends 17-Year Emergency Joke Supply
A Spurs trophy has finally arrived after 17 years, leaving rival supporters with only several decades of remaining archival material.
World
Papua New Guinea Evicts Trachoma After Thorough Inspection
Papua New Guinea has eliminated trachoma as a public health problem after surveillance proved the disease had lost its dreadful foothold.
Health & Lifestyle
World Health Assembly Prescribes Nine Days Of Geneva
The World Health Assembly will meet for nine days in Geneva, because the planet's medical problems have declined to fit a conference timetable.
Travel & Transport
Blackheath Tunnel Takes Ten Weeks Off To Feel 175 Again
Blackheath tunnel will close for ten weeks of essential repairs, giving a 175-year-old structure the summer break commuters cannot have.