UK Politics & Public Life

Cyber Wake Up Call Sent As Attachment Nobody Should Open

A cyber wake up call has reached British business, although security teams strongly advise directors not to click the enclosed alarm clock.

Three adult public-sector workers study a small red warning flag and reports in an office.
Three public-sector workers study a fictional early-warning scene.

Cyber wake up call reaches the executive inbox

The government has issued a cyber wake up call to British businesses after attacks affected major retailers. Unfortunately, the message came from wakeup-call-final2_REAL.zip.

Officials urged business leaders to make cyber security an absolute priority. Many immediately demonstrated commitment by forwarding the warning to the entire company with 412 addresses visible.

The Cyber Governance Code of Practice offers boards practical guidance. Its authors might summarise the first principle like this: do not trust an urgent invoice from somebody named Accounts Dragon.

“Our firewall is extremely advanced,” said Crispin Password-Same, Chief Synergy Officer at Brisket and Stapler. “It asks me to change my password every month, so I move the exclamation mark.”

Cyber attacks can halt sales, damage suppliers and expose customers. The threat is real. The satire targets executives who approve a digital transformation, then store its master password beneath a keyboard labelled MASTER PASSWORD.

Later, directors at the Boardroom Institute of Clicking Carefully practised spotting phishing messages. Nine rejected the suspicious link. The chair opened it because the sender promised a complimentary leadership hamper.

Companies will now review systems, backups and incident plans. The wake-up call has worked, although IT would prefer everyone stopped pressing snooze until the next breach.

Read the real story: the government warning to businesses about cyber attacks.

 

The new guidance asks boards to treat cyber security as a business issue, which may disappoint anyone hoping to delegate it to the youngest person in IT. Companies are advised to test their plans. The most advanced exercise involves an executive receiving an email marked URGENT and waiting a full ten seconds before ruining Christmas.

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