Business
Vets Ordered to Publish Their Prices After Making Pet Owners Feel They Need a Second Mortgage
Felicity Bunce is delighted that the vet bill now comes with enough warning to ruin the week in advance.
Hedgewick Thistleton
A self-proclaimed horticultural sovereign, Hedgewick once attempted to broker a peace treaty between the Flowerbed Federation and the Weed Uprising of '23. He spends his days dictating new lawn ordinances from his stately compost heap and has an unshakable belief that the squirrels are spying on him.
Economy
Britons allowed to keep wages from June, provided they don’t spend them
Penny Payless meets Graham Grossman, then discovers Britain’s liberated taxpayer exists only as a beautifully itemised national average.
Education
Government Deposits £800 Million in Students’ Bank Accounts in time for Freshers
Prudence Vale, registrar at the Office of Financial Optimism, watches student finance arrive with perfect timing and absolutely no promise of financial peace.
Culture & Entertainment
Channel Faux demands complete transparency from other people
A year long investigation has established that wealthy donors are deeply suspicious unless they fund a year long investigation.
UK Politics & Public Life
Man Identifies As ‘They’ To Claim Two Personal Tax Allowances
A Swindon man identifies as “they” to claim two personal tax allowances. HMRC suddenly discovers that words have very precise meanings when money is involved.
UK Politics & Public Life
Mayors Get the Green Light, Councils Get the Paperwork
England’s mayors could soon call in major developments, grant upfront permission and influence housing funds while councils process the consequences.
UK Politics & Public Life
Royal Return to Britain: Prince Hairy’s Kettle Crisis
Prince Hairy and Meghan Marquee reportedly plan a royal return to Britain without royal duties, leaving the Palace with a constitutional kettle problem.
UK Politics & Public Life
Whitehall Tackles Rough Sleeping With 24 Doors Nobody Can Live Behind
Whitehall’s rough sleeping Christmas drive has funding, a summit and a deadline. The advent calendar is already exceeding its targets.
UK Politics & Public Life
Britain’s Housing Crisis Told to Wait Beside a Well-Connected Station
Britain’s new default yes for homes near stations moves the housing crisis close enough to public transport to hear why it has been cancelled.
World
Rail service designation gives responsibility a chair
A rail service designation paper assigns responsibility for passenger services while the timetable remains gloriously beyond supervision.