UK Politics & Public Life
Roof Management speeds up justice by slowing down the jury
Reported jury trial reforms promise faster justice, but the jury is still waiting in the corridor while the backlog grows.
The Lawn · In focus
Law and justice
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UK Politics & Public Life
Charity Concern Given Helpful Directions To Another Regulator
A charity concern now gets clearer guidance, a better form and a fair chance of meeting the correct regulator before winter.
UK Politics & Public Life
Griffin Bark Opens, Police Dogs Ignore Strategic Deck
Griffin Bark gives police dogs realistic stairs, tunnels and scent puzzles while their human colleagues retain responsibility for the slides.
UK Politics & Public Life
Prison Space To Never Run Out Again Thanks To Confident Adverb
Prison space will never run out again under sentencing reforms, placing the nation's faith in tagging, probation and the word never.
UK Politics & Public Life
Legal Aid Offered £92m After Justice Checks Between Sofa Cushions
Legal aid could receive up to £92 million a year after the justice system accepted that solicitors cannot run indefinitely on cornerstones.
UK Politics & Public Life
Cyber Wake Up Call Sent As Attachment Nobody Should Open
A cyber wake up call has reached British business, although security teams strongly advise directors not to click the enclosed alarm clock.
Business & Economy
International Judgments May Travel Abroad Without Repeating Entire Court Case
International judgments will gain easier recognition overseas, saving businesses from buying the same court case in several currencies.
UK Politics & Public Life
SIM Farms Banned After Bumper Crop Of Hello Mum Texts
SIM farms face a ban after producing industrial quantities of urgent messages from children who have mysteriously changed phone numbers.
UK Politics & Public Life
EU Decides Peace Symbol Probably Had It Coming
Bureaucrats conclude iconic bird guilty of ‘unauthorised tranquillity’ and failing to file appropriate hope permits. BRUSSELS – Forget olive branches. The European Union just declared open season on the European…
UK Politics & Public Life
Stabbing Statistics Confirm School Still Excellent Preparation For Modern Britain
Ministry lauds accidental curriculum for fostering ‘essential street-level resilience’ and ‘enhanced evasive manoeuvring’. In findings described as “unintentionally gratifying,” the latest government statistics revealing a rise in serious knife incidents…
Travel & Transport
New Speed Bump or Just a Pothole? – It’s an Adventure Either Way
Local Residents Unsure if “Traffic Calming Measure” is Planned or Down to Disrepair In yet another thrilling episode of “Things the Council Won’t Fix,” residents of Peabody Lane have been…
UK Politics & Public Life
Police Seize 43 Terabytes of Free Speech in Anti-Opinion Crackdown
We got to him just in time,” says Commissioner Sir Nigel Blusterworth, warning the public about the dangers of unchecked opinions. TATTERWICK, England—Following a pre-dawn operation in which authorities stormed…