Britain Unlocks £10bn Investment, Discovers It Is Still A Verb
The UK investment partnership says £10bn could arrive by 2030, so ministers have unlocked a spreadsheet and begun looking under the furniture.
The Lawn, in retrospect
The dates are real. The news is satire.
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The UK investment partnership says £10bn could arrive by 2030, so ministers have unlocked a spreadsheet and begun looking under the furniture.
The UN puts Sustainable Development Goal 16 on April's calendar and hopes peace, justice and strong institutions can attend.
The new authority will speed up roads, railways and hospitals as soon as it acquires a building from which to accelerate them.
Britain’s cycling and walking strategy is delayed until officials find a route not occupied by delivery vans, potholes or basic obstruction.
Parker Solar Probe films the Solar System beside the Sun, where a package holiday has no beach, no shade and no return transfer.
At the UN evaluation meeting, fifty four agencies defined action, reviewed impact and safely hid the lessons behind a password.
The Tom Cruise BFI Fellowship honours a huge film career, while Britain attempts the dangerous art of giving the action star an award at rest.
Britain's National Living Wage rise gives workers more money and the firms already beside their bank accounts a renewed sense of purpose.
WHO Healthy City awards reward a council that finds a bench near spinach, installs a step counter in a lift and calls it public care.
Zero waste fashion celebrates the UN day by flying a reusable dress worldwide and calling the luggage allowance a circular economy.