Self appointed General once reported that a minor breeze in Lawnland was “a full-scale invasion by air-based insurgents.” Demands Lawnland form a navy, despite the nation having no body of water. Claims to have “seen combat” but later admitted it was just a particularly aggressive game of Monopoly.
The Tom Cruise BFI Fellowship honours a huge film career, while Britain attempts the dangerous art of giving the action star an award at rest.
A BBC licence fee review considers funding after 2027, while households pay £174.50 for programmes, impartiality and an invoice with confidence.
English Tourism Week invites families to rediscover the nation through damp car parks, ambitious gift shops and tea priced like a small loan.
