The Government’s progress update arrived on 23 May with figures for costs, migration and growth, plus the unmistakable tone of an administration that has discovered an annual report can double as a victory parade. The briefing papers stood nearby, visibly laughing, and declared that every puddle becomes a reservoir when the headline is large enough.
The official announcement presented a series of results as evidence that the Government’s plan is working. It said net migration had fallen to its lowest level since 2021, inflation had dropped to 2.8 per cent and the economy had grown by 0.6 per cent in the first quarter. It also announced a Great British Summer Savings initiative, apparently on the theory that families can now experience affordability in selected moments, subject to availability and the emotional stamina required to read the small print.
There was more progress in the document. It pointed to falling knife crime, lower homicide levels, NHS waiting lists at their lowest in three and a half years, extra teachers and measures intended to reduce household costs. This is a remarkable amount of improvement to fit into one announcement, particularly when people are still expected to notice prices in the shops with their own eyes.
The Government has also linked senior civil servants’ pay rises to performance. This leaves the briefing papers with a demanding administrative puzzle. If the results are excellent, the papers must celebrate. If the results are mixed, the papers must explain that the excellent results are approaching rapidly. If nobody can find the results, the papers must produce a larger folder and describe the folder as delivery.
The language of progress is doing heroic work. Every number has been issued a hard hat, every initiative has received a clipboard and every forecast has been placed beside the word resilience until they both look exhausted. A collection of figures with different causes, timescales and qualifications has been invited to perform as one smooth national achievement. The puddle has been given a podium, a medal and a speaking slot.
That does not make the figures meaningless. Official statistics and policy measures matter, and a change in a number can matter to people living with its consequences. But a statement that gathers every favourable indicator into one ceremonial basket risks making the basket look like a national strategy, while the footnotes quietly apply for witness protection.
By the end, the briefing papers had achieved the most efficient result of all. They had converted a progress update into a personal best, promoted the puddle to infrastructure and left the country wondering whether the medal came with a towel.
Source: GOV.UK.
