The UK Space Agency has awarded £6.5 million to 23 international space projects, proving that Britain will fund the future provided the future completes the correct form in triplicate.
The projects involve partners in Australia, Canada, France, Germany, India, Japan, Lithuania and the United States. The Department of Cosmic Admin has therefore arranged a video call at a time that inconveniences every continent with admirable fairness. International cooperation has never looked so much like a calendar invitation with unresolved attachments.
The programme covers lunar agriculture, orbital safety, deep space radar, medical research, communications and autonomous 3D printing. Somewhere in that list, a satellite is learning to manufacture its own replacement parts while an administrator checks whether the printer has completed its equality assessment and attached the correct version of the form.
“Britain is going global,” said Professor Denzil Starboard, Acting Director of Practical Infinity. “We have put science in a rocket and given the rocket a delivery timetable.” The timetable is ambitious. The rocket is apparently expected to submit a revised timetable before leaving the launchpad.
The funding is intended to strengthen international partnerships, develop national capabilities and support economic growth. It may also settle a pressing administrative question. When an international bilateral fund involves several nations, is it still bilateral, or has the spreadsheet quietly become a federation?
Lunar agriculture is among the supported areas, raising the prospect of British farming finally reaching somewhere the weather cannot ruin the harvest. The Bureau of Interplanetary Lunches has begun work on a potato that can survive vacuum, radiation and a procurement meeting. Its first challenge is not growing underground. It is proving that the soil counts as an eligible expense.
Other projects will investigate space based manufacturing and biotech production. The aim is to make tools, components and medical materials in orbit instead of launching every object from Earth. This is sensible, although mission control remains concerned that the first orbital factory will spend six months waiting for a replacement cable, then discover the cable requires an export licence.
The programme also includes threat detection, forest monitoring and improved satellite communications. Britain is preparing to watch the planet, protect the planet and send the planet a message asking whether it has retained the receipt. At the final briefing, the clipboard was promoted to mission controller after identifying eight countries, 23 projects and one Moon that was not in the approved travel budget. It now has its own launch window, scheduled for whenever finance signs off the fuel. If the mission succeeds, the clipboard will be the first British object in space to orbit the paperwork rather than the Earth.
Real story: UK Space Agency.
