World
Zero Waste Fashion Saves Planet By Flying Dress Round It
Zero waste fashion celebrates the UN day by flying a reusable dress worldwide and calling the luggage allowance a circular economy.
The Lawn, in retrospect
Earlier articles
The dates are real. The news is satire.
March 2025
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Travel & Transport
Northern Transport Investment To Deliver Train Before Passenger Retires
Northern transport investment will cut eight minutes from Manchester to Leeds, leaving passengers only forty-two minutes to distrust the announcement.
Business & Economy
Easter Bunny Blamed for ‘Egg-Sistential’ Shrinkflation Crisis
Bunny’s ‘Egg-xit’ Strategy Leaves Nation Shell-Shocked. The United Kingdom is reeling, not from political drama or royal mishaps, but from the catastrophic shrinkage of Easter eggs. The “Egg-sistential Shrinkflation Crisis”…
Culture & Entertainment
BBC Licence Fee Review Finds Impartiality Is A Paid Extra
A BBC licence fee review considers funding after 2027, while households pay £174.50 for programmes, impartiality and an invoice with confidence.
UK Politics & Public Life
Pothole Naming Rights: Petition for “Markle Mystery Hole” Gaining Traction
Locals demand personal touch for every pit of despair. Piddlington-on-Sea’s council is diving into the deep end with a proposal to let residents name local potholes for £5 a pop.…
Science & Technology
Gulf Of Oman Phytoplankton Charged With Unauthorised Beauty
Gulf of Oman phytoplankton have formed beautiful swirling bands without submitting a route plan, colour chart or marine movement form.
Travel & Transport
Government Blows £9bn on Tunnel Linking Two Places Nobody Wants to Visit
The Great British Money Pit Rolls On In a dazzling display of fiscal genius, the government has approved the Lower Thames Crossing—a £9 billion road tunnel linking Kent and Essex,…
UK Politics & Public Life
Public Sector Told To Spot Trouble Before It Becomes A Working Group
Public sector warning signs are now filed, discussed and ignored with a new standard of professional concern.
Business & Economy
Bank Stress Test Finds Lenders Ready for Armageddon, Not a Phone Call
Britain’s lenders pass the Bank of England stress test, then confront their real threat: a customer calling with an actual question.
Health & Lifestyle
World TB Day Funding Pledge Arrives In Extremely Small Envelope
World TB Day leaders have promised to commit, invest and deliver, although finance has interpreted all three verbs as optional stationery.