Sport
Sport talent funding gets £120m and a toll booth
Sport England’s £120m talent funding aims to widen access, but the pathway has already installed a toll booth and issued a lanyard.
The Lawn, in retrospect
Earlier articles
The dates are real. The news is satire.
November 2025
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Science & Technology
Rail Fare Freeze Puts the Timetable on Notice
A rail fare freeze promises stable regulated fares while Britain’s railway administration attempts to process the good news.
Health & Lifestyle
New NHS GP IT system celebrates a thrilling new tab
A New NHS GP IT system brings the first new core supplier in 25 years, giving procurement a fresh tab and an old computer a nervous screensaver.
Culture & Entertainment
UNESCO Arts Education Guide Promotes Glue Stick to Faculty
UNESCO’s arts education guidance puts culture at the heart of learning, prompting a glue stick to demand a teaching credential and its own cupboard.
Business & Economy
Capital Issuance Falls as Pie Chart Cuts Its Slice
UK capital issuance fell in April, leaving the corporate pie chart to rebrand a minus sign as a temporary change of direction.
World
Sizewell Concrete Gives the Rubble a Second Career
More than 15,000 tonnes of concrete moved from Sizewell A to Sizewell C, where one pile seeks a second career.
UK Politics & Public Life
National Digital Exchange gives procurement a search bar
The proposed National Digital Exchange promises quicker public sector technology buying, leaving the procurement cupboard to learn how search works.
Travel & Transport
UK tourism forecast predicts 43.4m visits, souvenir shops quietly order more tiny guardsmen
VisitBritain forecasts 43.4 million UK visits and £33.7 billion in spending, leaving souvenir shops to industrialise the national whimsy.
Sport
Green sport fund gives football cones a carbon target
Sport England’s £16 million green sport fund sends football cones into an existential emissions audit beside the muddy touchline.
Science & Technology
NASA Terra Satellite Keeps Working While Retirement Waits
NASA’s Terra satellite kept four instruments producing science data after 25 years, making retirement an awkward discussion for everyone involved.