Sport
Olly Murs Given Two Songs To Decide Women’s FA Cup Final
Olly Murs will perform before the Women’s FA Cup Final, giving Chelsea and Manchester United one final chance to blame the playlist.
The Lawn, in retrospect
Earlier articles
The dates are real. The news is satire.
May 2025
Showing 221 to 230 of 354 stories in this feed
Science & Technology
Venus Crust Stays Thin By Dropping Heavy Problems Into Mantle
Venus crust may control its thickness by melting or shedding dense material, a geological strategy familiar to anyone avoiding attic storage.
Health & Lifestyle
Spring Covid Vaccination Reminds Sunshine It Is Not A Doctor
The spring Covid vaccination campaign has warned eligible people that warm weather cannot provide immunity, despite the sun’s confident bedside manner.
Culture & Entertainment
Great 8 Films Enter Cannes With Unseen Footage And Seen Anxiety
Great 8 films will court international buyers across five time zones, allowing British cinema to experience rejection before several different breakfasts.
Business & Economy
Bank Rate Cut By Quarter Point After Committee Splits Into Fractions
The Bank Rate cut reached 4.25% after nine policymakers produced three positions and enough fractions to unsettle a family calculator.
World
UN Secretary-General Achieves Day With No Public Appointments
No public appointments appeared on the UN Secretary-General’s schedule, creating a rare diplomatic vacuum immediately filled by calendar analysts.
UK Politics & Public Life
Planning Reforms Worth Up To £7.5bn If Spreadsheet Gets Its Way
Planning reforms could add billions to the economy, according to an impact assessment whose upper estimate has already chosen a kitchen.
Travel & Transport
Railway Landslip Fixed Without Upsetting Dormice Or Donkeys
A railway landslip near Three Bridges has been repaired with steel, stone, wildlife checks and an unusually strong supporting cast of donkeys.
Sport
FA Youth Cup Final Gives Teenagers Full-Sized Pressure At Villa Park
The FA Youth Cup final brings Aston Villa and Manchester City teenagers to Villa Park, where every adult will discuss their potential at once.
Science & Technology
Hot Sub-Neptune Has Clear Atmosphere And Terrible Holiday Climate
A clear atmosphere surrounds this hot sub-Neptune, although tourism officials remain quiet about the water vapour and 1,340-degree heat.