Culture & Entertainment

London Film Festival Announces 247 Things You Will Regret Missing

The London Film Festival offers 247 works from 79 countries, 12 days of cinema and one timetable capable of defeating civilisation.

Three laughing cinema goers hold tickets, a stopwatch and a map beneath an enormous tangled festival timetable.
Satirical illustration of laughing film festival enthusiasts planning an impossible schedule between cinema doors.

The London Film Festival has announced 247 features, shorts, series and immersive works, giving cinema lovers the annual opportunity to turn pleasure into an impossible railway timetable.

The 69th festival runs for 12 days from 8 to 19 October 2025. Its programme spans 79 countries, London venues, online screenings and partner cinemas across the UK, creating the rare cultural event where choosing what to see feels like an administrative emergency.

Audiences can select galas, competitions, documentaries, restored films, immersive works and screen talks. One enthusiast has already colour coded the programme, printed it at A3 and placed it beside a map of London usually reserved for planning a military operation.

Imogen, Curator of Optimistic Calendars, insists that everything can be seen. This requires three bodies, no meals and a legally recognised exemption from travel time. It is less a festival plan than a proposal for replacing the audience with a small, highly coordinated theatre company.

The festival includes 103 works made by women and non binary filmmakers, alongside appearances from filmmakers and performers. This increases the likelihood that the one event you miss will become the only conversation anyone has afterwards, particularly if you skipped it to attend something you had confidently described as unmissable.

Festival strands are meant to help audiences navigate the programme. They have instead enabled increasingly precise forms of panic. A viewer may know that a film is an international production, a restored classic or an immersive work, while remaining unable to establish whether it starts before the previous film has finished.

Members receive priority booking, allowing experienced attendees to prepare with broadband, caffeine and the calm hand normally associated with defusing a device beneath Waterloo Bridge. When general booking opens, every remaining seat becomes an opportunity to embrace spontaneity, which is what the ticketing system calls defeat after the attractive options have vanished.

The festival’s breadth is its great strength. It offers discoveries no algorithm would suggest, global talent in person and enough variety to make ordinary entertainment look suspiciously underachieving. It also offers the familiar festival experience of buying four tickets, missing three films and spending the remaining evening explaining that the cinema staircase was part of the programme.

The audience eventually perfected its schedule. The first film concerned the destructive consequences of obsessive planning. Nobody attended. They were all watching the second film, which they had booked as a backup. The backup was showing in another city.

Real story: British Film Institute.

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