Easter roadworks will be lifted across 1,127 miles, giving holiday drivers an uninterrupted opportunity to queue behind a caravan called The Wanderer.
Easter roadworks pack away the cones
The change means 97.5 per cent of major roads should be free from works. The remaining 2.5 per cent contains every route your satnav describes as twelve minutes faster.
Gareth Contraflow-Phipps, Director of Seasonal Orange Objects, said: “We have removed thousands of cones. Motorists can now enjoy the authentic road surface beneath them, including several holes shaped exactly like a wheel.”
Officials also estimate that drivers could save up to £500 each year through pothole measures and fuel duty policy. Families have already allocated the money to replacing the tyre that proved the pothole was still reviewing its options.
Meanwhile, councils face larger fines for disruptive street works that overrun. Contractors will respond by changing the sign from completion Friday to completion spring, a deadline with excellent natural flexibility.
The Department for Predictable Getaways expects smoother journeys. It recommends travelling early, travelling late or developing a close personal relationship with the services near junction 10.
By Easter Monday, the cones will return refreshed. Drivers should welcome them back slowly and expect delays while each one completes reintegration training.
Read the real story: the Easter roadworks announcement.
Highways officials say the suspension will make Easter travel less stressful. Drivers have been advised to remain calm, carry water and avoid looking directly at the family in the next lane, who are now eighteen miles from home but have achieved the emotional geography of a siege. The roadworks will resume once everyone has forgotten where the spare tyre is.
