World
Tobacco Marketing Adds Mango, Consequences Await Review
Tobacco marketing has put bright colours and thousands of flavours around nicotine because apparently poison was losing the youth demographic.
Fenella Sprocket
Fenella received her doctorate after completing an online personality test which described her as “highly analytical.” She approaches every scientific breakthrough with rigorous scepticism unless it has been forwarded to her by somebody called Carol. Her current research concerns whether drinking water is still good for you or whether they've changed that again.
Health & Lifestyle
World Prematurity Day Gets Calendar Slot, Care Seeks Funding
World Prematurity Day has joined the official WHO calendar after global health diplomacy successfully found an empty square on 17 November.
Travel & Transport
West Yorkshire Trains Put Passengers On Character Building Service
West Yorkshire trains will change for four weeks while passengers learn whether their disruption belongs to a weekday or weekend category.
Business & Economy
Solomon Islands Cocoa Reaches Britain Without Becoming Beige Bar
Solomon Islands cocoa grown by women farmers will reach British chocolate lovers through a trade link with an ethical UK maker.
Science & Technology
Mars Dust Devil Ruins Rover’s 1,500-Sol Selfie
A Mars dust devil has photobombed Perseverance's 1,500-sol selfie, proving unwanted background guests now operate across planets.
UK Politics & Public Life
Five-Leader Call Ends With Historic Promise To Call Again
A five-leader call covered war, ceasefire and sanctions before achieving diplomacy's most durable outcome: another call at a later date.
Culture & Entertainment
BFI Cinema Website To Stop Making Film Booking The Plot
The BFI cinema website is being rebuilt after users found choosing a film easier than discovering whether its booking button believed in them.
Sport
VAR Conversations Released To Confirm Everyone Said Wait
VAR conversations from five Premier League incidents reveal elite officials using cutting-edge technology to say wait with exceptional authority.
World
Plant Health Day Notes Plants Still Handling Food And Oxygen
Plant Health Day has thanked vegetation for supplying most food and oxygen while humanity continues describing a plastic fern as low maintenance.
Health & Lifestyle
Spring Covid Vaccination Reminds Sunshine It Is Not A Doctor
The spring Covid vaccination campaign has warned eligible people that warm weather cannot provide immunity, despite the sun’s confident bedside manner.