London waiting lists have fallen by 2,709 in a month and are now searching for a smaller spreadsheet somewhere beyond Zone 4 with space for a desk.
London waiting lists meet the good statistic
The capital still had more than 1.17 million people waiting to start treatment. However, the reduction is real, which means every manager may briefly point at a green arrow before returning to the enormous number beside it.
Dr Crispin Triage-Biscuit, Regional Director of Encouraging Columns, said: “We celebrate progress one patient at a time. In the dashboard, we celebrate it 2,709 patients at once because the font becomes much more optimistic.”
There was also better cancer performance. A record 81.3 per cent of London patients received a diagnosis or all clear within four weeks, giving thousands of people quicker certainty.
Meanwhile, year-long waits continued to drop. The Directorate of Calendrical Medicine has removed several dusty months and promised that nobody will again need a referral letter written in an extinct version of Word.
The figures reflect extra appointments and relentless staff effort. They do not mean the problem has vanished, merely that it has stopped expanding for long enough to hear the clinicians asking for more capacity.
For now, the waiting list remains large. Still, it has packed one box, cancelled a viewing and admitted that calling a corridor patient flow does not make the corridor wider.
Read the real story: the NHS London performance update.
NHS leaders say the improvement proves their recovery plan is working. Londoners welcomed the prospect of treatment arriving slightly sooner, although several asked whether it could be delivered by the same team that promises a parcel is between two and four and then develops a profound spiritual attachment to the depot.
