Britain may soon give convicted fly tippers something more frightening than a neighbour in slippers: points on their driving licences. The Government is considering the measure, meaning a discarded sofa could become the first household object to threaten somebody’s ability to get to work.
It is a beautifully British response to the sight of a fridge in a hedge. The rubbish remains exactly where it was dumped, but the paperwork becomes mobile. A person can apparently turn a country lane into an unwanted furniture showroom, then discover that the real punishment is a small rectangle of plastic becoming judgemental.
The proposal forms part of the planned Waste Crime Action Plan, expected to cover offences from fly tipping to large illegal waste sites. The title has the reassuring firmness of a document produced after several meetings about whether a bin should be allowed to use the word crime.
The announcement says most fly tips are roughly the size of the back of a small van. This is useful precision. It lets the public picture the scene clearly: one van, several bags, a mattress with a suspiciously complete set of cushions, and somebody insisting they were only taking the rubbish for a little walk.
Penalty points could be added to the licences of people convicted of fly tipping. Twelve points within three years can lead to disqualification. The illegal dumper may therefore be forced to discover buses, a transport system powered by timetables, damp coats and the quiet resentment of everyone already on board.
The Government has also issued guidance for councils on identifying, seizing and disposing of vehicles involved in fly tipping. Every suspicious van can now acquire the atmosphere of a celebrity being asked whether it knew what happened at the after party. The humble white van is no longer merely transport, storage and unexplained engine noise. It is evidence waiting for a solicitor.
Nobody is claiming that penalty points will make a fridge stop appearing beside a hedge at midnight. They may make the getaway less glamorous. The criminal mastermind will have to weigh a shortcut against three years of licence arithmetic, while the van sits silently wondering why it was never given a better class of owner.
At last, Britain has found a way to make rubbish take responsibility for its actions. The only problem is that the rubbish still has the cleaner record, and it has never once had to pass a theory test.
Source: GOV.UK.
