Travel & Transport
Holiday Ham Asked To Remain In Europe
Holiday Ham is asked to stay abroad, leaving British border rules, livestock and the suitcase picnic in better shape.
The Lawn, in retrospect
Earlier articles
The dates are real. The news is satire.
July 2025
Showing 541 to 550 of 831 stories in this feed
Sport
Joe Root Reaches Second, Finds Tendulkar In Way
Joe Root has reached second in the Test run list, leaving cricket to print the remaining distance in a larger font.
Science & Technology
Mars Rover Does Fifteen Jobs During One Meeting
Mars Rover Curiosity took fifteen images during an orbiter call, setting a productivity target nobody on Earth requested.
Health & Lifestyle
NHS Appointments Stay Put Until The Text Arrives
NHS Appointments remain on unless patients hear otherwise, leaving the calendar to maintain a very British composure.
Culture & Entertainment
Helen Mirren Turns 80, Emergency Majesty Remains
Helen Mirren turns 80 with emergency majesty fully stocked, one raised eyebrow away from national reassurance.
Business & Economy
Companies House Appoints King, Leaves Crown In Drawer
Companies House appoints Andy King, beginning a new era of corporate filing with precisely no need for a coronation.
World
AUKUS Treaty Books Ocean Until 2075
The AUKUS Treaty books 50 years of submarine cooperation, giving procurement enough time to develop its own tide table.
UK Politics & Public Life
Savings Chair Makes Immediate Withdrawal
The Savings Chair has made an immediate withdrawal, leaving NS and I to begin an interim search and guard the upholstery.
Travel & Transport
Germany Train Promises Direct Route Via Meetings
Germany Train plans promise a direct route, once a joint taskforce has visited every possible platform and meeting room.
Sport
Andre Russell Retirement Moves Boundary Further Back
Andre Russell retirement brought a final Sabina Park farewell, several world titles and a boundary rope seeking new work.