Sport
Canoe Race Must Overtake Several Regulations Before The Finish
The canoe race can proceed once competitors have negotiated the fastest-moving obstacle on British water: official navigation guidance.
The Lawn, in retrospect
Earlier articles
The dates are real. The news is satire.
April 2025
Showing 261 to 270 of 354 stories in this feed
Science & Technology
Planning AI Reads Council PDF Before Council Finds Correct PDF
Planning AI can digitise old records in 40 seconds, leaving councils free to spend two hours locating the correct attachment.
Health & Lifestyle
Body Checks Lose To Bank Balance And Tomorrow’s Drizzle
Body checks trail bank balances and weather forecasts because apparently overdrafts and light rain deserve closer surveillance.
Culture & Entertainment
Late Pub Hours Granted So Nation Can Remember With One More Round
Late pub hours will mark VE Day by giving remembrance the solemn dignity of somebody ordering crisps at 12.47am.
Business & Economy
Carbon Credits Market Offers Reassuringly Tidy Atmosphere Receipts
Carbon credits will help companies display climate integrity through a market in certificates confirming that a forest is thinking about them.
World
UN Youth Forum On Future Not Covered Because Present Has No Cash
The UN Youth Forum explored green jobs and innovative finance without meeting coverage because conventional finance had left the building.
UK Politics & Public Life
Infrastructure Authority Appoints CEO Before Infrastructure Notices
The infrastructure authority has appointed a chief executive to unite strategy and delivery under one roof, pending delivery of the roof.
Travel & Transport
Easter Roadworks Lifted So Drivers Can Queue Without Scenery
Easter roadworks will vanish across 1,127 miles, allowing families to spend the bank holiday looking at the same caravan unaided.
Science & Technology
Zombie Projects Removed From Grid Queue After Failing To Produce Pulse
Zombie projects will leave the electricity grid queue after years of shuffling forward and asking whether anyone has a spare connection point.
Health & Lifestyle
London Waiting Lists Fall And Immediately Seek Smaller Flat
London waiting lists have fallen, although more than a million patients still occupy a spreadsheet with excellent transport links.