The Lawn, in retrospect
The dates are real. The news is satire.
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London Soundtrack Festival organisers have improved ordinary life by adding suspense strings to queues, lifts and declined card payments.
Glacier preservation officials have protected the world’s ice by changing several definitions and ordering a magnificent waterproof banner.
Continent Torn Between Deploying Actual Troops or Just Hopes and Prayers. BRUSSELS, BELGIUM — In a bold display of unity and indecision, European leaders gathered this week to debate the…
The England Albania win has left analysts concerned that two goals and three points arrived without the required national emotional collapse.
New submarine is equipped with ‘state-of-the-art floatiness.’ BARROW-IN-FURNESS, UK — In a ceremony filled with cheers and a hint of nervous laughter, Plum Minister Keith Stammer unveiled the Royal Navy’s…
The England joy plan promises fearless football until the first misplaced pass, when the nation will return to its traditional emergency posture.
Compass Group Loses Its Way; Public Unaware It Existed The FTSE 100 slipped 0.2% today after five consecutive sessions of gains, prompting a chorus of polite nods and murmurs of…
Experts Recommend Layering Parkas Over Hawaiian Shirts Brace yourselves, Britain: the weather has officially lost the plot. In a move more erratic than your aunt’s Facebook rants, temperatures are set…
In a bold move, the UK government has proposed a ground breaking solution to fiscal challenges: encouraging low-income citizens to simply “become less poor.” Officials claim this strategy will both…
The astronaut homecoming has entered its hardest phase: being welcomed by people with lanyards, clipboards and a mandatory wellbeing survey.
