Confused citizens suspect new site is government propaganda or Banksy art installation.
In a bold and baffling twist, the website Good News English has launched, serving up cheerful stories to a nation largely unprepared for such positivity. Naturally, many suspect it’s either a government mind game or a modern art prank gone too far.
The site, which promises exclusively uplifting content, has left Brits squinting suspiciously at tales of triumph and kindness, as if waiting for the catch – like a tax hike or a cancelled bus route.
Neville Dampcabbage, 47, a local gloom enthusiast, shared his doubts from the safety of his misery-stained armchair. “I read about a dog learning to skateboard, and I kept expecting it to knock over a pensioner or spark an international incident. It’s unnatural. Makes my tea taste funny.”
Downing Street has denied any involvement, with Plum Minister Keith Stammer brushing off rumours that it’s a “morale-boosting propaganda effort” to distract from lettuce price inflation and the Greater Manchester Odour Crisis.
Dr. Mildred Grumblethwaite, a sociologist specialising in British cynicism, warns that the abrupt onslaught of good news could be psychologically damaging. “Centuries of drizzle, disappointment, and aggressively beige cuisine have hardened the national soul. Exposing it to raw positivity could result in widespread cognitive whiplash.”
The creators of Good News English insist it’s not a cruel experiment and that pleasant events do, on rare occasions, actually occur. Meanwhile, The Daily Sigh has issued a formal condemnation, accusing the site of “reckless cheerfulness” and “dangerous optimism peddling”.
For now, the British public remains wary, with most cautiously glancing at the website before retreating to more familiar doom-laden headlines.
