Finance Archives - theLawn.land

FTSE 100 Dips; Nation Pretends to Understand What That Means

Compass Group Loses Its Way; Public Unaware It Existed The FTSE 100…

Biff Tankerton
19/03/2025

Finance

Wealth Managers Discover Investing in Trusts Requires Actual Trust

Financial Gurus Stunned to Learn ‘Trust’ in Investment Trusts Isn’t Just a…

Hedgewick Thistleton
08/03/2025

Politics

EU Decides Peace Symbol Probably Had It Coming

Bureaucrats conclude iconic bird guilty of ‘unauthorised tranquillity’ and…

Biff Tankerton
05/04/2025

Trade

Civil Servants Spend Weeks Deciding if Retaliatory Tariff Should Apply to Peanut Butter Cups

Emergency Subcommittee Formed to Analyse Chocolate-to-Peanut Butter Ratio Impact on…

Biff Tankerton
04/04/2025

Education

Stabbing Statistics Confirm School Still Excellent Preparation For Modern Britain

Ministry lauds accidental curriculum for fostering ‘essential street-level…

Biff Tankerton
03/04/2025

Easter Bunny Chocolate Crisis: Greedy rabbit surrounded by tiny eggs and gold carrots.

Economy

Easter Bunny Blamed for ‘Egg-Sistential’ Shrinkflation Crisis

Bunny’s ‘Egg-xit’ Strategy Leaves Nation Shell-Shocked. The United…

Biff Tankerton
27/03/2025