World
Outer Space Committee Meets While Earth Interrupts
The Outer Space Committee has discussed peaceful cooperation, while Earth waited outside with several wars and a laminated visitor pass.
Hedgewick Thistleton
A self-proclaimed horticultural sovereign, Hedgewick once attempted to broker a peace treaty between the Flowerbed Federation and the Weed Uprising of '23. He spends his days dictating new lawn ordinances from his stately compost heap and has an unshakable belief that the squirrels are spying on him.
Health & Lifestyle
NHS Safety AI Spots Problems Before The Review Arrives
NHS safety AI will scan health data for warning signs before problems mature into a review, an action plan and a sombre foreword.
Travel & Transport
Devil’s Punch Bowl Gets Protected Crockery Status
The Devil’s Punch Bowl joins a new Surrey nature reserve, protecting rare wildlife and a landscape whose crockery remains mythologically oversized.
Business & Economy
Business Survey Error Wins Complete Statistical Coverage
A business survey error affects every measure in the ONS release, an admirably comprehensive result for a problem caused during processing.
Science & Technology
Royal Observatory Turns 350 And Britain Is Still Late
The Royal Observatory celebrates 350 years of measuring time precisely while Britain continues arriving whenever the replacement bus permits.
UK Politics & Public Life
Tax Gap Confirmed As 46.8 Billion Pounds Behind The Sofa
The tax gap has been estimated at 46.8 billion pounds, prompting HMRC to check the national sofa and ask whether anyone has seen a very large envelope.
Culture & Entertainment
Jaws Film Still Benefits From A Shark On Strike
The Jaws film remains a masterclass 50 years later, helped by a mechanical shark that treated every shooting day as a formal grievance.
Sport
Club World Cup Opens With Two Goalkeepers And No Plot
The Club World Cup began with an action packed goalless draw in which two goalkeepers heroically protected the plot from acquiring a score.
World
Ocean Investment Finds Third Win Under The Sofa
Ocean investment promised a triple win for people, planet and prosperity, leaving finance to look for a cheque large enough to match it.
Health & Lifestyle
Travel Health Advice Finds Passport Beneath The Flip Flops
Travel health advice urges holidaymakers to plan before departure, leaving flip flops to perform their traditional nonclinical role.