Business & Economy
Companies House Appoints King, Leaves Crown In Drawer
Companies House appoints Andy King, beginning a new era of corporate filing with precisely no need for a coronation.
Biff Tankerton
Self appointed General once reported that a minor breeze in Lawnland was “a full-scale invasion by air-based insurgents.” Demands Lawnland form a navy, despite the nation having no body of water. Claims to have “seen combat” but later admitted it was just a particularly aggressive game of Monopoly.
Science & Technology
NASA Puzzler Offers Glory In Lieu Of Prize
NASA Puzzler offers credit and glory for a mystery image, carefully withholding the usual space station trip.
UK Politics & Public Life
Sewage Pollution To Be Halved, Remainder Congratulated
Sewage pollution is set to halve by 2030, leaving the remaining half with a monitor, a target and a glossy leaflet.
Culture & Entertainment
Heatwave Films Explain Why Fan Has Given Notice
The BFI’s heatwave films explain why a warm tower fan and an unreachable remote have become serious cultural events.
Sport
Wimbledon Final Gives Sinner Three Identical Receipts
The Wimbledon final gave Jannik Sinner three matching 6 4 sets, a trophy and a scoreboard with very little left to explain.
World
Dust Storms Send 307 Pyramids Through Customs
Dust storms move 307 pyramids of material each year, a global delivery service with no interest in customs.
Health & Lifestyle
Neighbourhood Health Teams Find Patients Near Homes
Neighbourhood health teams bring staff together near patients, placing lanyards, mugs and the shared calendar under one roof.
Travel & Transport
Rail Replacement Buses Make Destination A Luxury Feature
Rail replacement buses may finally reveal destinations and stops, ending a long tradition of station car park divination.
Business & Economy
Business Survey Finds AI Growing Faster Than Cash Reserves
A business survey finds firms embracing artificial intelligence while a sizeable minority experiment with having no money whatsoever.
Science & Technology
Robot Dogs Join Fusion Programme After Good Boy Review
Robot dogs promote Britain’s fusion programme after demonstrating advanced mobility, public charm and no interest in chasing the plasma.