The Prime Minister spoke to President Trump about getting shipping moving through the Strait of Hormuz, which is the sort of sentence that makes a government statement sound as if it has just discovered the sea is refusing to answer emails. Downing Street said the call covered the urgent need to restore freedom of navigation, along with the consequences for the global economy and the cost of living. Somewhere, a small ship is waiting while officials locate the form for being urgently unblocked.
The call followed shocking scenes at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. The Prime Minister offered his best wishes to the President and First Lady, and wished a speedy recovery to an injured officer. It is an impressive diplomatic manoeuvre to move from a dangerous incident to maritime logistics without spilling the tea, although the paperwork appears to have survived.
The leaders then discussed the Strait of Hormuz, where shipping is apparently waiting for senior statesmen to agree on the wording of a sentence beginning with “following our conversation”. The Prime Minister shared progress on his joint initiative with President Macron to restore freedom of navigation, following a military planning conference at Northwood.
This is the reassuring architecture of official language. A dangerous obstruction becomes an urgent need. A multinational military effort becomes a joint initiative. A conversation becomes progress. The sea remains full of water, but the paperwork is now confidently buoyant and has probably been assigned a reference number.
The fictional little ship has been told not to panic. It has been given a route, several talking points and a promise that the leaders will speak again soon. It would prefer the shipping lanes to reopen, but accepts that this may depend on whether the next call can be arranged before everyone’s diary becomes unavailable.
That is the peculiar comfort of the announcement. Nothing is presented as simple, because the situation is not simple. Yet the language arrives neatly ironed, carrying the hope that a military and economic emergency can be coaxed towards resolution by enough senior people using the word “progress” in a calm voice.
The little ship has now filed its response: “Thank you for your attention. Please stop discussing my freedom of navigation and restore it.” It has also declined the next meeting, because it has finally found someone with a timetable.
Source: GOV.UK.
