Government promises a brighter future. Taxpayers must pay extra to keep the present failing at its current standard today.
Chancellor John Bleakley said taxes must rise. Broken services, he explained, cannot neglect themselves. He spoke beside the pothole outside the Treasury. Officials gave it listed status after it swallowed a consultation.
“This Budget is about stability,” he said. “Your hospital appointment stays in 2029. Your train stays cancelled. However, the Treasury takes more from your wages.”
Government promises at current prices
Bleakley placed two robotic arms beside the lectern. He said they showed national progress. One spent the speech unplugging the other. A minister then requested a ten-year technology strategy.
Bleakley moved from defence to the Treasury. In June, he wanted more military spending. Now he must find it. He calls his former self an avoidable expense. He now carries the calculators himself.
“I wanted funding in defence,” Bleakley said. “Now I want value for money. Fortunately, future security costs nothing until somebody needs it.”
Prime Minister Andy Burncash says the gap surprised him. He spent summer promising improvements everywhere. Officials say he never read the figures. He instead forecast, “Come on, we can do this.”
Treasury spokesman Miles Shortfall blamed a smile. Burncash has smiled for two months. The debt has grown. Officials now ask who financed the teeth.
Ministers put homes, care and compensation into a ten-year programme. This gives them time to explain their absence. Bleakley says higher taxes will restore confidence. The Treasury can still charge somebody.
Taxpayer Martin Skint welcomed the optimism. “I pay more tax and everything gets worse,” he said. “Now I must call the arithmetic negative.” The optimism costs an administration fee.
Burncash urged the public to remember who caused the mess. He then went inside to chair a meeting of them.
