Only 12 per cent of UK trading businesses reported higher turnover in August, while 28 per cent reported a fall. Britain’s recovery is therefore proceeding exactly as planned, provided the plan was to place one small improvement in a display cabinet and charge admission.
The figures come from the Office for National Statistics Business Insights and Conditions Survey, which asked firms how August compared with July. The proportion reporting higher turnover was the lowest since the question began in March 2022. Somewhere, a government dashboard is changing its status from promising to please do not lean on this.
Economic uncertainty was the most commonly reported challenge, affecting 28 per cent of trading businesses. This is remarkable consistency from uncertainty, which has secured regular work while confidence remains on a zero hours contract and optimism is waiting for its reference.
“The figures contain clear opportunities,” said Peregrine, Senior Optimism Actuary. “Confidence has substantial headroom before it reaches the ceiling fan, and the ceiling fan has already applied for a business loan.”
Costs were also moving in the wrong direction. Nearly a quarter of firms reported higher prices for goods or services they bought in August, while only 9 per cent reported raising the prices of what they sold. The average business is therefore swallowing a wasp, absorbing the invoice and sending the wasp a grateful survey link.
Among businesses with 10 or more employees, 36 per cent cited labour costs as a turnover challenge in early September. Meanwhile, 18 per cent reported worker shortages. The national solution appears to be asking existing staff to cover the vacancies while describing this as an exciting opportunity to discover whether one person can legally be classified as a department.
Expectations for October were perfectly balanced, with 16 per cent expecting turnover to rise and 16 per cent expecting it to fall. British forecasters have learned to be wary of predictions that arrive wearing false moustaches and demanding expenses.
The ONS cautioned that these are estimates from a voluntary survey and official statistics in development. Officials responded by placing the warning in smaller type, then enlarging the 12 per cent of optimism until it covered the presentation, the meeting table and eventually the emergency exit. The economy may be uncertain, but the good news has already been given a permanent office.
Real story: Office for National Statistics.
