Joe Root finds the loyalty scheme has no rewards
Joe Root became the first batter to make 6,000 World Test Championship runs. Cricket responded by producing a receipt long enough to cover third man and offering no free coffee whatsoever.
Root reached the mark during England’s fifth Test chase against India at The Oval. It was his 69th Test in the competition. The run table now has the look of a document that needs a second page and a fire exit.
Six thousand runs should earn something. A priority boarding lane would be reasonable. A complimentary defensive stroke would be a start. Instead, Root may keep the pencil used to add another number to the scoreboard.
The scoreboard orders more paper
“Mr Root has filled twelve stamp cards and one sightscreen,” said Neville Leg By Invoice, Treasurer of Long Innings. “His prize is another Australian tour and a reusable bag shaped like a former opener.”
The landmark reflected sustained excellence in Test cricket. The score is real. The applause is deserved. Only the imagined awards department believes a player should redeem 6,000 runs for a mug with the word effort on it.
England were chasing a major target when Root reached the mark. He marked it with a raised bat and a nod. This is the correct response in Yorkshire, where a cartwheel may lead to questions about whether you have been sleeping properly.
India’s bowlers carried on. They understood that a historic total is less helpful when the next ball removes off stump and turns the occasion into a very expensive commemorative graphic.
The calculator enters the honours list
Cricket presented Root with a silver calculator engraved still batting. The calculator immediately asked for a rest day and a quiet lie down at deep extra cover.
The receipt finally stopped at the boundary. Root signed it, claimed the runs as expenses and asked whether the next thousand could simply be emailed.
Read the real story: The ICC report on Root’s 6,000 run milestone.
