Culture & Entertainment
Battleship Potemkin Gets A Pet Shop Boys Mutiny
Battleship Potemkin returns with a Pet Shop Boys score, giving a classic mutiny the correct electronic urgency.
Music
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Culture & Entertainment
Glastonbury Sunday Finds Popular Acts Are Popular
Glastonbury Sunday crowd advice suggests quieter fields and longer routes to thousands of people who have all chosen the same legendary singer.
Sport
Olly Murs Given Two Songs To Decide Women’s FA Cup Final
Olly Murs will perform before the Women’s FA Cup Final, giving Chelsea and Manchester United one final chance to blame the playlist.
Culture & Entertainment
Slade In Flame Turns 50 And Remains Citizen Kane With Sideburns
Slade in Flame is 50, confirming that British rock cinema peaked when ambition wore platform boots and declined to wash the van.
World
World IP Day Tells Musicians To Feel Beat Then Invoice It
World IP Day celebrates music by asking artists to feel the beat, protect the beat and retain documentary proof that they invented the beat.
Culture & Entertainment
London Soundtrack Festival Gives Every Coffee Queue An Ominous Cello
London Soundtrack Festival organisers have improved ordinary life by adding suspense strings to queues, lifts and declined card payments.
Culture & Entertainment
TicketToutster Gains Control of 87.5% of Primary School Shows in England
Parents left devastated as black market ticket economy flourishes in primary school gymnasiums across England. TATTERWICK, England—In yet another staggering display of corporate dominance, TicketToutster has now secured control over…
Culture & Entertainment
Ne-Yo Announces Polyamorous Relationship; Fans Envious of His Time Management Skills
Four-Girlfriend ‘Pyramid’ Sparks Envy Among Fans Struggling to Manage One In a revelation that has left both fans and mathematicians scratching their heads, R&B singer Ne-Yo recently introduced the world…
Culture & Entertainment
King Charles Apple Music Show: An Attempt to Connect with the ‘Commoners’
Royal DJ Spins Tunes to Appease the Masses In a move that has left both the aristocracy and the proletariat scratching their heads, King Charles III has launched his own…