Drought-hit Cambridge residents have been reassured that, despite continuing pressure on local water supplies, their toilets will continue receiving water of a standard suitable for drinking.
The reassurance follows difficulties surrounding a Cambridge development designed to reuse treated rainwater for purposes including toilet flushing, an idea that has encountered the unfortunate British requirement that anything entering certain domestic plumbing systems first be treated with considerably more respect than the average houseplant.
Residents are currently being asked to conserve water and are subject to restrictions on activities such as watering gardens and washing cars.
Officials have nevertheless stressed that no comparable austerity measures will be imposed on lavatories.
“People understandably become concerned during a drought, “said a senior sanitary water official. “But nobody should have to experience the indignity of knowing the water transporting their morning shit was not technically suitable for making a cup of tea.”
Inspectors are understood to be developing a new cistern assurance programme under which toilet water will be assessed for clarity, mineral balance and whether it possesses the crisp, clean finish expected before disappearing immediately around a U-bend.
Recycled rainwater could eventually be permitted for flushing once authorities are satisfied it has undergone sufficient treatment to make it completely safe to be shat in.
Until then, Cambridge households have been encouraged to make every drop count – particularly the several litres of perfectly drinkable water currently carrying a turd towards the sewage works.
Source: Cambridge Water — Eddington water-reuse scheme and regulatory position.
