Sport Archives - theLawn.land

Sport

Scientists Baffled as Newcastle Victory Disrupts Space-Time Continuum

Experts Baffled as Newcastle Wins Trophy, Universe Demands Explanation In a plot…

Biff Tankerton
16/03/2025

Unmissable Sporting Events of 2025: Perfect Excuses to Avoid Social Gatherings

Because Pretending to Care About Sports Beats Pretending to Care About Janet’s…

Biff Tankerton
16/03/2025

Politics

EU Decides Peace Symbol Probably Had It Coming

Bureaucrats conclude iconic bird guilty of ‘unauthorised tranquillity’ and…

Biff Tankerton
05/04/2025

Trade

Civil Servants Spend Weeks Deciding if Retaliatory Tariff Should Apply to Peanut Butter Cups

Emergency Subcommittee Formed to Analyse Chocolate-to-Peanut Butter Ratio Impact on…

Biff Tankerton
04/04/2025

Education

Stabbing Statistics Confirm School Still Excellent Preparation For Modern Britain

Ministry lauds accidental curriculum for fostering ‘essential street-level…

Biff Tankerton
03/04/2025

Easter Bunny Chocolate Crisis: Greedy rabbit surrounded by tiny eggs and gold carrots.

Economy

Easter Bunny Blamed for ‘Egg-Sistential’ Shrinkflation Crisis

Bunny’s ‘Egg-xit’ Strategy Leaves Nation Shell-Shocked. The United…

Biff Tankerton
27/03/2025